Musings about the Muse. . .

     Yesterday I found myself thinking about a certain someone.  Not surprising, really, since this person is in my thoughts every day, but it has been a while since I have seen this person or gotten a hug from her and so I was feeling a bit melancholy.  I miss her.  To paraphrase a song i know..."I need her in my eyes".  The wonderful thing about yesterday though was that somehow, some way, she must have known...cuz she called me. (How DOES she do that?!?)

     Even though I might not be able to SEE her as often as I would like (say, every second of every day), at least I got to hear her voice...and that is actually able to sustain me... for a while.

     A lil background for folks that don't know...the two of us met on the first day of Kindergarten and on that day I just KNEW she was the one for me.  However, the very next day, I also KNEW that I was not the one for her.  But there was absolutely no way I could let her out of my life and so we became best friends.  Growing up though, the thing she never knew was that she was my muse.  She was the reason that I did things.  I wasn't the best looking or the smartest or the strongest, so what could I do to get her attention?  I began to draw...not because I was any good at it but because it was the only thing I could think of that no one else in my class was doing.  Without her, I don't really have any interest in doing anything creative.

     For a while we drifted apart, then found each other again.  Slowly we drift closer and closer physically.  Maybe someday I get to see her again, hold her in my arms however briefly (she IS married now after all).  But what others fail to realize is that for me, getting to just see her or hear her voice on the phone or, most exquisite of all, actually getting to hug her...THOSE are my religious experiences.  THAT is Heaven on earth for me.  It is those moments that I live for.  They empower me...supercharging my body and making me feel like Superman but also fueling my soul.  I need her more than she will ever know.  We have talked about this and she THINKS she knows how I feel.  She doesn't.  Someday I hope to find the words to explain it to her properly, but until then I can only use a woefully inadequate code that the two of us know about.  A turn of phrase from a movie that we both love.

"As you wish, my Princess...as you wish."

the Machine

Right...since, at this point, I only have one follower, who knows all of this already, I really shouldn't have to repeat all this...BUT...at some point others might join in and might be interested in this (yeah right) so here goes...

Towards the beginning of the year, I had developed a rash on my back between the shoulder blades.  Went to the doctor to get it checked.  While there, the doctor made me wait for a good 15-20 minutes before checking me out.  "Why?" you might ask?  Because at that point, my blood pressure was 190 over 110, which I have been told is bad.  So bad, in fact, that while I was waiting, the doc was deciding whether he should have me transported to a hospital.  Since that time, I have had ZERO problems with the rash and the doc has put me on meds that now control my blood pressure and my cholestorol and the doc also seems pleased with the progress so far.

Do I go back to the way I was?  No.  I have actually gotten used to taking most of the soda from my daily intake (I admit to having a small 8 oz bottle in the mornings...it's my version of a cup of coffee).  And I actually drink bottled water when I am at work too.  Whoda thunkit!  The big challenges now are controlling my portion size (and trust me, my mom will keep me posted on THAT one!) and actually getting my fat ass up and moving.  Doc wants me to walk.  Never said how far or how fast or any such thing....just walk.  That is actually going to be the hardest part for me.  I am not the kind of guy to just walk for the fun of it (or run for that matter, like some redheads I might know) but I AM going to do it.

Wish me luck folks.